COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.

What should we talk about today?

I was thinking the ‘habit of comparing yourself to others? (friends, family members or social media users)’ as many including myself tend to do.

Personally, this seems like an important and crucial topic to touch on, particularly with the extensive and growing use of social media. It has been said that there are 700 million users on Instagram (Statista), 328 million on Twitter (Statista), over 160 million users on Snapchat etc. I’m sure you get the picture but if not, let me just say this, social media is taking over our world people! Of course, there are many advantages of it. It can be viewed as an online portfolio, a platform to meet new people, connect with individuals worldwide, and mainly as a source of entertainment and news. However, everyday we wake up, we check our phones for any notifications from either those we know or on social media. We come across posts created by individuals we look up to, like, comment on their images and sometimes even screenshot/save these pictures. Well, in my opinion, this can become very damaging for ones self-confidence/esteem. Do you sometimes wish you had what they have? Their features, characteristics, garments, social life, followers, talents or career? To be honest, I wouldn’t blame you and I don’t. I am also a victim of this.

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.”

― Shannon L. Alder

Millions of users are religiously utilising these online platforms, broadcasting their ‘lifestyles’, exhibiting their luxurious items, showcasing ‘squad’ and portraying this specific image of themselves. Remember the saying, ‘don’t believe everything you read’, well do not believe everything you see on social media either! Each user has the power to exhibit whatever they like. The objective of social media is to basically advertising yourself with hopes of acquiring numerous likes, comments and attention from others. Rather than querying what it is you’re personally lacking in comparison to those you witness on social media, ask yourself this.

Is this really their lifestyle? If I was to meet this person in the outside world, will they look as good as they portray on Instagram? Did they buy the item, take an image and return it straight away? (many do this on the low!) Is squad really squad or just for image because they have the same numbers of followers and likes?

I’ve come to realise that not everything is what it seems. You do not know what happens behind closed doors, therefore should not be so quick to want to be someone else or have their life. But most importantly, comparison is simply the thief of joy.

It is essential to remember:

  1. Each of us have talents and characteristics that make us unique. It is impossible to find another you, and I mean this. One may acquire the same talent as you but the way in which the talents are utilised are very different. I say find this talent, and stick to it. That’s what makes you, you.
  2. Remember this, you’ve got a purpose. Every single one of us on this earth has a purpose. We were brought onto this planet for a reason, whether we know it or not. It is just about identifying what this is and ensuring you make the best out of it in life.
  3. Timing is everything, and I can’t stress this enough! You can possibly receive all you’ve ever wanted now (career, money et al) or in a couple of years but THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOUR TIME WILL NEVER COME. I know, someone you admire has everything you desire but the real questions are, are they ready for all that responsibility? How long will it last?

    You will experience trials and tribulations which are blessings in disguise, but it is essential to reveal that everything does happen for a reason. Unfortunately some may not believe this, but I really do.

  4. Nobody is perfect and that is a fact. We all go through our own shit.

So rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself now to a couple of months ago. How much have you achieved? Made any advancements? Worked on your craft? On yourself? When I say yourself, i’m talking about physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. And if you haven’t then please do not be afraid to start. It all starts with being confident in yourself, your abilities, knowing your worth and no longer fearing to put yourself out there on the large platform. You are incomparable and must know it in your heart and soul.

In short:

“Whatever your passion is, keep doing it. Don’t waste time chasing after success or comparing yourself to others. Every flower blooms at a different pace. Excel at doing what your passion is and only focus on perfecting it. Eventually people will see what you are great at doing, and… success will come chasing after you.”


― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

‘Designing for the future: trends we need to consider now’- CGTrader Competition

Fashion can be defined as ‘the style of dressing that prevails among any group of persons’ (Perna, 1987). It is a distinctive trend which has the ability to last for a minimum of a year, two or possibly decades. It is no secret that in a general sense, fashion ‘is concerned with contemporary style that has traditionally been reflected through individuals’ clothing, accessories, hair styling and cosmetics’ (Wilson and de la Haye, 1999). Components which contributes towards an individuals identity and appearance. Becoming essential in mass culture and identity, fashion allows one to express themselves through their choice of garments and embellishments.

Summarising the term perfectly, an unknown writer stated ‘fashion is art and you are the canvas’. Not only is it ‘what you buy’ but mainly ‘what you do with it’. Clearly, trends come and go. However, with au courant, fresh, incomparable designs and the return of established looks repeatedly emerging every season, what should we expect next? What direction is fashion heading towards?

As the years go by, fashion is constantly being developed and reformed. What was once in trend, may no longer be witnessed on catwalks or the streets, excluding designs proving to be timeless and forever in style. In the past, garments strictly consisted of corsets, frigid and restricted materials/items, encompassing the lack of colour. Women’s fashion was constantly confined.

Nonetheless, in the 1920s, fashion finally entered the modern era. The era introduced Coco Chanel, Paul Poiret, Madeleine Vionnet et al, couturiers who immediately erupted the fashion industry with innovative, authentic and distinctive designs. The fashion industry and society was finally acquainted with; comfortability, versatility, masculine-inspired looks and advancements. That goes to say, the ‘Flapper look’, ‘Cloche hats’, pleated skirts (inspired by surrealism), two pieces and suits (later introduced down the years). Is it safe to say the following trends look familiar? Well this is just the beginning.

In the 1950s, the fashion industry changed due to the unfortunate event, World War II. This caused the society, as well as the fashion industry to take a step back. However, right before this period of time, Christian Dior made his debut as fashion designer in 1947, permanently changing fashion with ‘New Look’, which continuously influenced trends of the 1950s. It consisted of: ‘unpadded, rounded shoulders, shapely, bust lines, closely-defined waistlines, fully, billowy skirts’, blouses, and short jackets, defining an extra feminine wardrobe for women. Highly demanded, dirndl dresses with reduced puff sleeves, and billowy skirts trademarked 1950s fashion, befitting a popular style. In addition to this, luxurious fabrics were utilised. Enhancing the female physique, hourglass dresses/skirts were often worn.

Of course, as we entered the 1960s, fashion was introduced to bold, and vibrant colour schemes. Greatly inspired by pop art, women sported shift dresses, kitten heels, and tops with matching coloured mini skirts. ‘Contemporary architecture and sculpture were the most prevalent inspirations for fashion designers in 1960. There were also hints of the twenties and thirties with bloused, bias-cut clothes, long straight overblouse and sashed tunics..fitting hats and exaggerated makeup’ (Retrowaste). The decade was highly known for experimenting.

Equally important, the 1990s influenced numerous fashion designers emerging today. This particular period of time embraced the grunge, menswear inspired looks, varying from baggy bottoms, flannel shirts, crop tops, sportswear, and Dr Martens. Contributing towards the trends of this decade, musicians and artists took fashion to a whole another level, joining forces with renowned designers, and creating timeless looks, mainly influenced by popular culture. According to Huffington Post, ‘the hip-hop movement helped contribute to the baggy and bright clothes’, whereas films including Clueless ‘promoted designer schoolgirl style (babydoll dresses, tartan skirts, thigh-high stockings, Mary Jane shoes, penny loafers and slip dresses). Fashion designers: Tommy Hilfiger, Alexander McQueen, Versace, Prada et al paved the way for many modern  designers and brands.

As previously shown, many trends from past decades have made a comeback in todays fashion. It is clear, the fashion industry repeatedly takes notes, taking advantage of previous looks however altering it in a manner which makes it relevant in today’s society. To answer the question, what trends should be considered now in regards to future designs? I would say, trends from past decades particularly in the 90s. We have currently witnessed chokers, boyfriend jeans, dungarees, sportswear, baggy bottoms accompanied with crop tops et al in the majority of high street stores, and designer catwalk shows, permitting one to believe there is more to be expected. That goes to say, await previous trends to make appearances at fashion shows, but manipulated and recreated in a particular manner, depending on the designer and their objectives. It all depends on the kind of theme the designer is going for, season it will be unveiled, what is currently in trend and their target audience.

 

 

“This blog post is a part of Design Blogger Competition organized by CGTrader
https://www.cgtrader.com/blogging-contest#section-submission

BOTTLING IT ALL IN + NEVER OPENING UP.

I’ve never really done a post like this one before, and I must admit, it is challenge for me. I struggle with letting people in, opening up and just being honest about what it is I’m going through. It seems like no matter what issues or emotions I may be experiencing, whether I’ve reached my ultimate peak or not, one will never really know. Why? This is something I’ve been asking myself for a very long time, until someone close to me opened my eyes and made me realise why I am the way I am.

Clearly, everyone has their own struggles. We’ve all got our own demons, problems and insecurities, but we deal with these differently. Like I previously mentioned, I am notorious for bottling things up. Some individuals are comfortable talking to others regarding their issues, however others struggle doing so.  Personally, I always and still do (not going to lie) feel like some sort of burden when reaching to others regarding my personal life. I’ve always been that girl who thought she was strong enough to deal with whatever obstacles she may face. The girl who should be able to deal with her own issues without asking for help or advice from others. The girl whose problems aren’t even that important compared to others, so why not just suck it up and deal with it herself? But let me tell you something, this is not the type of mentality one should have and I’m happy to have finally come to terms with this.

Bottling it all up especially for a long period of time can become very damaging, overbearing and lonely. A feeling one should not constantly experience. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but as I finally let everything out one day, I just started bawlinggg! Bare in mind, I hate crying too. However, as I was doing so, I realised a couple of things.

  1. I immediately felt free, almost like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders.
  2. Crying has always felt like some sort of weakness to me. It shouldn’t and definitely is not.
  3. I am surrounded by family and friends who care and love me. Individuals who are here for me the same way I am here for them.

Yes, opening up remains a challenge for me but is something I’m proudly still working on.

Now, if you encounter similar characteristics, find it extremely difficult to talk to someone about your problems then I will say this, write everything down. I repeat, write all your thoughts and emotions down, whether it is in your diary or blog. It’s something I started doing a while ago and I must say, I wish I did it way earlier. Even more, praying and talking to God also helps. As you’re letting it all out, don’t be afraid to ask him for guidance and strength to overcome your issues. He never lets his children down.

But if that doesn’t work for you, then please try to always remember,

“just because people have bigger problems than me, it does not mean mine is irrelevant”

or any less important. We deal with our issues in various manners and that’s okay. Things like this take time, just never forget to put yourself first …

AND TO ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF, NO MATTER WHAT.

FORZIERI: GET £50 OFF

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Forzieri is an accessories only concept store, exhibiting the creations of worldwide renowned designers. From Victoria Beckham, Michael Kors, Philip Lim. Jimmy Choo and more. The franchise is made up of a team of experts set in Italy with remarkable experience in the fashion industry. Clearly the team has an eye for lavish products as they deliver luxurious and premium footwear, jewellery and bags.The company retains vibrant, modern and chic products for both men and women.  It is ‘an uber-curated blend of iconic labels gem-like discoveries, limited editions and artisanal excellence’.

“If the Italian meaning of Forzieri is ‘treasure chest’ there must be a reason why”. 

Now luckily for us all, I have been given a special link which enables one to get £50 off when spending £150!

GET SPENDING MY LOVES: CLICK HERE

I promise you, once you’re on the site, you wouldn’t want to leave.

Expect deluxe items such as:

 

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MICHAEL KORS

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RAY BAN

 

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LANCASTER PARIS

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LORIBLU

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GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI

 

The Girl In The Red Jumpsuit

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Jacket: New Look  Sandal Heels: New Look    Jumpsuit: Wood Green 

Hey guys,

If you’re a resident in the UK then you know the different seasons we’ve been currently experiencing. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s raining. Well luckily this day, I caught the sun and took advantage of the moment. Doing so, I wore a red jumpsuit which I must say is extremely comfortable regardless of the tight fit. It was paired with simplistic black sandal heels, and a white puffer jacket.

Unfortunately, I do not remember where the jumpsuit was purchased from but here are similar alternatives for you:

PETITE ROSALYN BANDEAU WIDE LEG JUMPSUIT

RED CREPE HIGH NECK TIE CULOTTE JUMPSUIT

RED WRAP BARDOT JUMPSUIT

WIDE LEG CHIFFON JUMPSUIT 

 

& Don’t forget to follow me on my social networks:

Instagram & Twitter: _TheRealRaissa

Hope you like the look!

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OFF THE SHOULDER SHIRT + RIPPED JEANS

image00081TOP: Primark      JEANS: Topshop       BACKPACK: La Moda    TRAINERS: Footlocker    COAT: New Look

Since my schedule was rather hectic that day, I was going for a comfortable, simple but stylish look. I decided to sport the over the shoulder trend with an oversized shirt, ripped denim jeans and Nike TN’s. Of Course, my backpack had to follow me that day, it’s just practical!

After witnessing many celebrities, fashion bloggers and Youtubers in this off the shoulder trend,  I must say, I absolutely love it! Whether it’s a shirt, top or jacket, it just looks good!

Photographer: @RaymondAdekolu 

http://rmaphotography.co.uk/

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Travel Diaries: Morocco

Last summer, a group of friends and I decided to go on a little holiday to Morocco! During my time in the country; I was able to learn a lot about their culture, visit such stunning places and do what I do best, eat. I honestly enjoyed every part of my vacation, very honoured to have captured the places I have visited and my experience in Morocco.

I hope you like the photographs as much as I enjoyed taking them!

_____________________

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Raissa Coulibaly x Carla Aurelie

img_0353img_0355img_0377img_0390img_0419      Bodysuit: Primark   |   Skirt: H&M   |    Jacket: New Look   |    Shoes: Solewish

 

img_0341-1img_0345img_0393img_0413Top: Bershka   | Trousers: Bershka |  Jacket: Pull & Bear   | Shoes: Ego

Now this is different to any other post that I have ever done. Why? Well its a collaboration with another blogger/youtuber that goes by the name Carla Aurelie.

Guys when I say this girl is a character, it’s unbelievable. I think you’ll only understand once you watch her youtube videos, she’s hilarious. Fairly new to youtube, she currently has over 100 subscribers, more than 3000 views on her videos and several comments from others admiring both her style and personality.

What’s even better about it all is that we’re family! We decided to collaborate and take advantage of this moment since we haven’t seen each other in yearsss. So we met up, went out to eat and literally had a fun day out!

For this reason, my attire had to be just right! I wanted it to be comfortable, simple but also cute at the same time which is why I went for a bodysuit with a midi skirt, khaki coat and matching heeled boots from Solewish. Guys I really want more of these heels but damn they hurt lmfao. I recommend purchasing some insoles for them because they are some killer heels.

I’ve honestly come to the conclusion that these heels are for image, nothing else! Trying to sell us dreams.

Either way do check out my girls social media sites and YouTube channel, I promise you’ll love it!

Twitter: Carlaurelie

Instagram: Carlaaurelie

YouTube: Carla Aurelie

Website: https://theaurelieway.squarespace.com

——————-

Follow me on my social media networks:

Instagram: Theraissacoulibaly

Twitter: _Mscoulibaly

How To Wear A Jumpsuit !

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Jumpsuit – Asos            Glasses – Walthamstow Mall            Trainers – Sports Direct

Choker – Asos                       Necklace – New Look

Hi loves,

I know its been a while since I’ve made a blog post but I’ve honestly been so busy! I’m constantly working which is tiring the hell out of me, writing for Yahoo Style and Solewish as well adds on to the stress as I’m trying my best to balance everything. I don’t know how our parents manage balance everything and make it look easy, honestly! On top of it all, I’m trying to go to the gym as often as I can which knocks me out immediately.

Its life though right? Just have to learn to manage it all and find a way to make it work for me which is something I’m trying to do now!

Enough of that though, it’s time to go back to the topic. My mum treated me to a nice day out the other day in Oxford Street where we were able to do some shoppinggg. Now everyone knows, shopping with your mum is the best as you can literally buy as many things as you want! So obviously for this reason, I had to make sure I looked cute and take advantage of the day by taking photographs for this blog. When I say I was receiving so many compliments on this outfit, had people ask where the jumpsuit was from etc. The way I kept grinning from ear to ear lmfao. The fit is amazing, I love the colour, it’s so comfortable and it was definitely worth £40! It was only right to match it with my pink choker and grey and pink trainers for it to compliment the look.

Wait we can’t forget about the glasses though, are they not stunning?! I bought two for £20 and lord they are worth it!

Raissa Coulibaly x

Follow me on my social media networks:

Instagram: Theraissacoulibaly

Twitter: _Mscoulibaly