I’ve never really done a post like this one before, and I must admit, it is challenge for me. I struggle with letting people in, opening up and just being honest about what it is I’m going through. It seems like no matter what issues or emotions I may be experiencing, whether I’ve reached my ultimate peak or not, one will never really know. Why? This is something I’ve been asking myself for a very long time, until someone close to me opened my eyes and made me realise why I am the way I am.
Clearly, everyone has their own struggles. We’ve all got our own demons, problems and insecurities, but we deal with these differently. Like I previously mentioned, I am notorious for bottling things up. Some individuals are comfortable talking to others regarding their issues, however others struggle doing so. Personally, I always and still do (not going to lie) feel like some sort of burden when reaching to others regarding my personal life. I’ve always been that girl who thought she was strong enough to deal with whatever obstacles she may face. The girl who should be able to deal with her own issues without asking for help or advice from others. The girl whose problems aren’t even that important compared to others, so why not just suck it up and deal with it herself? But let me tell you something, this is not the type of mentality one should have and I’m happy to have finally come to terms with this.
Bottling it all up especially for a long period of time can become very damaging, overbearing and lonely. A feeling one should not constantly experience. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but as I finally let everything out one day, I just started bawlinggg! Bare in mind, I hate crying too. However, as I was doing so, I realised a couple of things.
- I immediately felt free, almost like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders.
- Crying has always felt like some sort of weakness to me. It shouldn’t and definitely is not.
- I am surrounded by family and friends who care and love me. Individuals who are here for me the same way I am here for them.
Yes, opening up remains a challenge for me but is something I’m proudly still working on.
Now, if you encounter similar characteristics, find it extremely difficult to talk to someone about your problems then I will say this, write everything down. I repeat, write all your thoughts and emotions down, whether it is in your diary or blog. It’s something I started doing a while ago and I must say, I wish I did it way earlier. Even more, praying and talking to God also helps. As you’re letting it all out, don’t be afraid to ask him for guidance and strength to overcome your issues. He never lets his children down.
But if that doesn’t work for you, then please try to always remember,
“just because people have bigger problems than me, it does not mean mine is irrelevant”
or any less important. We deal with our issues in various manners and that’s okay. Things like this take time, just never forget to put yourself first …